The gifts from Teaching

This is a copy of a speech I give my seniors when they graduate from High School. Let me know what you think.

My gifts to you

Opening

As a teacher, I have witnessed the effect teachers have on people is not always limited to just that year or even just the subjects we teach. As the year goes by, I have given you gifts that are not physical in nature, but often are more valuable than anything I could ever give you. Each gift makes up what it means to be a human being and how to act in this crazy often-illogical world. These gifts individually will make you a better person, worker, family member or friend. But put together like pieces of a puzzles will make you the human being you are meant to be.

I know that after you leave these walls and venture out into the real world, each gift will enable you to live each day to its fullest and experience all the good this world has to offer, as well as maximize your potential in the business world. Whether it is your own business or a corporation you work for, each one allows you to make yourself into anything you want to become.

This knowledge I pass to you was given life from a letter and a blog a friend of mine wrote about what her teacher thought was important to people and what makes them themselves and not a shell of what they could have been. The choice to use these gifts is not mine, but yours and yours alone. The great Roman Philosopher, Seneca, wrote to someone that “The spirit in which a thing is given determines that in which the debt is acknowledged; it’s the intention, not the face-value of the gift, that’s weighed.” At face value, these things do not seem like much, but as time goes by, their value will be understood.

My first gift: Your own mistakes

The author of The Phantom Tollbooth, Norton Juster, wrote “”you must never feel badly about making mistakes,” explained Reason quietly, “as long as you take the trouble to learn from them. For you often learn more by being wrong for the right reasons than you doing right for the wrong reason.”” The gift I give to you is of your own making, your mistakes. Mistakes are instants where you have done either something that was not the right decision or one where the results are things that you did not wish or intended to happen. There are assignments, tests, projects, behaviors or words said that are incorrect or make things worse, but each one is your own. They say something about you and your character. I know that I have lived a good life, so far, and it is populated by more mistakes than there are grains of sand at the beach. Nevertheless, I learned from someone that mistakes are often the best teachers of life and each one is a lesson in how things are and can be. To learn from ones own mistakes is not a new concept to most people, but to learn from them and actually do something with that knowledge is sorely lacking in this world. When you use your mistakes to better yourself and others, you are often more compassionate, caring, kind, thoughtful and live life to its fullest.

My second Gift: Integrity

When writing, The Turquoise Lament, its author, John D. Macdonald, stated, “Integrity is not a conditional word. It does not blow in the wind or change with the weather. It is your inner image of yourself, and if you look in there and see a man who won’t cheat, then you know he never will.” According to Webster’s Dictionary, Integrity is firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values, the quality or state of being complete or undivided. Its said that Honesty and Integrity go hand in hand, but not always. Honest is not always for others benefit, these are the “Jerry Springer” type confessions. There are times when honest is there not just to tell the truth, but facing the consequences that the light of the honesty will bring.

“Thane own self be true.” This is where the world is often its most cruel and corrupting. Integrity is often what makes up our own self-image and core values. Without it, we are a drift on a sea where the wind of others is directing us where we go, who we are and what we believe. Enron is an example of what happens when greed destroys people’s integrity, and sends us in direction that can sink many good ships for the benefit of a few. Integrity can often have a loneliness to it that makes it hard for your decision to seem like the right one, even if you know it is. It is the next gift I give you that usually helps people keep their integrity intact.

My third gift: Courage

“One isn’t necessarily born with courage,” Maya Angelou once said. “But one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous or honest.” My next gift to you is the same one the wizard gave the lion, courage. I know some of you are thinking, “I have courage, I’m brave”. Well, Courage is not the same as bravery. Bravery is the art of facing danger; this is usually what we see in war zones or in some parts of American cities where urban violence mirrors that of war zones. Bravery often does not need to have Courage to be useful. Soldiers who fight in wars often show bravery in the face of danger, but not always courage. Courage is the art of facing fears or to fear yourself and to do what you believe in spite of it. The fear of death is always in the air on the battlefield or in a war zone. A soldier that has courage will not just fight, but will also risk his own life to run in and pull their friend out of harms way. Everyday of your life is filled with a fear of some type; failure, acceptance, phobias, the truth, and the thing the people often fear the most, themselves. Without courage, so many things are not possible. As Ms. Angelou said, “those things are not possible with out courage”. The gift of integrity is not possible to maintain without the help of courage, the courage to stand up for what you believe in. If you have courage, you can achieve anything.

What can be achieved with courage? Samuel Smile answered, “It’s not enough to have a dream, unless you’re willing to pursue it. It’s not enough to know what’s right, Unless you’re strong enough to do it. It’s not enough to learn the truth, Unless you also learn the live it. It’s not enough to reach for love, Unless you care enough to give it. Men who resolved to find a way for themselves will always find opportunities enough; and if they do not find them, they will make them.” What can you achieve with courage?

My fourth gift: Real Freedom

During his term in office, President Ronald Reagan once proclaimed, “Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation away from extinction. It is not ours by inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to people. Those who have known freedom, and then lost it, have never known it again.” Freedom seems an odd gift to give you, but this is the type of freedom that is essential to everyone and to the United States of America. It is the freedom of the unpopular, Real Freedom. The type of freedom to say something that is viewed as unpopular or insane and not to be punished for it or the act of doing something in protest and not being arrested. The fact that someone has an opinion that is different from yours and their right to have it. Thomas Jefferson wrote to a friend, “I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small degree of it.” The real freedom of America is to be different, to think different and to know its ok to be this way. It seems that some people believe that a perceived threat is enough to scale back our own freedoms just for the sake of safety. The gift of real freedom should never be taken away, but treasured and taken care of like a small child. For it was Ben Franklin who wrote, “Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.”

My fifth gift: Listening

Listen to the mustn’ts, child.
Listen to the don’ts.
Listen to the shouldn’t, the impossibles, the won’ts
Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me.
Anything can happen, child
Anything can be.
Shel Silverstein

The gift I bestow upon you is one that we as teachers often tell students they need to do, to listen. The world is a fast moving place and if you don’t stop and listen to it, you’ll miss something good. Human beings have ears; however, a lot of us seldom know how to use them. The last time you talked to someone, were you really listening to them or listening to the way you were going to answer them. The art of listening is a position that most people do not like to be in, because, when you’re listening, I mean really listening to someone, you’re putting everything in this world on hold just for them. It is often a very submissive and taxing process to hear what the person is saying, they way they are saying it and why they are saying it. Sometimes you could be listening to the most boring friend’s story or problem you have ever heard in your life, but the longer you listen, the more of them and the world opens up to you. A good listener is often the friend you trust the most, because you know that they will “hear” everything you are saying and not saying. They will, in turn, respond with thoughts that have had time to comprehend it or will just sit there and let you speak for a time, when it’s not the words that are important, but the time they are giving to you. In the business world, clients are asked why they often choose to do business with the same people on a regular basis, from doctors and lawyers to sales people and homebuilders or even the person that does your flowers. The biggest single response from them is, “They listen to what I have to say” or “he really heard what I had to say and helped me to achieve it.” To listen to someone, is often to profit from it, whether it be financially or personally, it pays to listen.

My sixth gift: Laughter

The great 19th century writer, Mark Twain, claimed, “[Humanity] has unquestionably one really effective weapon – laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution – these can lift at a colossal humbug – push it a little – weaken it a little, century by century; but only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.” My personal favorite gift to hand out to people is the gift of laughter. There are times when people just need to laugh in order to make it through the day. Studies have been conducted by major universities on the healing power of laughter. The fact that laugher can make you feel good, even in a time of tremendous pain and sorrow; it is a wonderful coping mechanism. When you are hurting and a friend comes by to see you, what do they usually try to get you to do, laugh. Laughter can often brighten any room. When people start to laugh, don’t they often feel better, more refreshed, awake and alive. Without laughter, the world would seem to be a dark and sad place to be. I have come to believe that a day without laughter was never really a true day at all. But, always remember, the best jokes are the ones only you can understand.

My seventh gift: Emotion

In an interview in the men’s magazine, Playboy, the founding philosopher of Objectivism, Ayn Rand stated, “An emotion is an automatic response, an automatic effect of man’s value premises. An effect, not a cause. There is no necessary clash, no dichotomy between man’s reason and his emotion- provided he observes their proper relationship. A rational man knows- or makes it a point to discover- the source of his emotions, the basic premises from which they come; if his premises are wrong, he corrects them. He never acts on emotions for which he cannot account, the meaning of which he does not understand. In appraising a situation, he knows why he reacts as he does and whether he is right. He has no inner conflicts, his mind and his emotions are integrated, his consciousness is in prefect harmony. His emotions are not his enemies; they are his means of enjoying life. But they are not his guide; the guide is his mind. The relationship cannot be reversed, however. If a man takes his emotions as the cause and his mind as their passive effect, if he is guided by his emotions and uses his mind only to rationalize or justify them somehow- then he is acting immorally, he is condemning himself to misery, failure, defeat, and he will achieve nothing but destruction- his own and that of others.” Your own emotions are the next gift I pass on to you. Emotions are meant to be expressed. It is often the lack of this expression of emotions that can lead people to do terrible things. It is ok to cry, to laugh, to smile, to love, to fear, to be surprised or to be emotional. Emotions are the essence of humanity. Each expression is a look into our very selves, a window into our soul. Let the emotion out, or they will overflow into areas of your life you don’t intent or want them too. When these types of feelings appear in your life, they often are no longer useful or helpful, but destructive to you and those around you. Emotions are what make life worth living; the thrill of a game winning score, the happiness of your first child, the excitement of sky-diving, the joy of you wedding, the crying over the death of someone you care for, the rush of a rollercoaster, the courage to be emotional after a tough lose, and the final gift I bestow upon you.

My last gift: Anger

The author of The Dance of Anger, Harriet Lerner says that when is comes to anger, “Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.” I know it is an odd final gift to give you, but I give you the gift of anger. Anger is neither good nor bad in and of itself; it is what is done with this angry that shapes it into being. Angry can be a powerful ally in any struggle you come across, often you never hear a person’s true feelings on a subject until they are angry about it. This kind of angry can be channeled into something, passion.

Passion to do right, to succeed at a task or to do something to change the world, angry is often the source behind change. The famous civil rights leader, Malcolm X proclaimed, “Usually when people are sad, they don’t do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about change.” This is what can happen when anger is channeled and reshaped into passion. If we learn to control and to reshape it, then we can learn to do great things and make the world a better place for everyone. Anger is a powerful gift and must be used wisely. We are not Jedi, but the dark side of anger is a path we must learn to avoid. Anger, when used with all the other gifts, can make life interesting.

Closing

Each of these gifts alone are wonderful things to have and to use, but together they allow us to great things, to become great people or to just live the kind of life we want to live. The writer, Denis Watley, wrote, “The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don’t define them, or ever seriously consider them as believable or achievable. Winners can tell you where they are going, what they plan to do along the way, and who will be sharing the adventure with them.” Goals are what we strive to achieve, we all have goals, some small; marriage, a good job, children, to graduate from school or to get out of here while you still can. Other goals are big or worldwide; to be president, start a company and become the next Ebay or Google, go to Mars, make your community a safe and happy place to live, discover a cure for things like AIDS or cancer or to just make the world a better place. All these things start with these 8 simple gifts given to you by your schools, teachers, family, friends, and community.

Now to the reason I know a lot of you are thinking, Why should we care? This is your world, it will be your world for a lot longer than I’m going to be around. I want you to be able to enjoy it, take care of it, leave this a better place for your children and most importantly, I want you to be happy. Each gift is a personal gift from me to you. I want you to be ready for this life and to find yourself in it. I may be older than you, and also be your teacher, but it doesn’t mean I can’t hope for the best of you. Taking responsibly for one’s mistakes and learning from them helps improve your integrity, your integrity is built from your courage for your own values, your courage is gained from your personal freedom, freedom enables you to be heard or to just sit and listen, listening often brings about laughter, laughter is an expression of your emotions, you express your emotions in order to use them, like when you use your anger in order to fix something, like your own mistakes. Each gift is connected to the other. These together build a circle that allows you to live a life a joy and happiness. Remember, as the Great Britain’s Prime Minster, Winston Churchill once said, “We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.”